Destiny's Child

It was a Monday forenoon class in college just before the lunch break and my mind was in a state of delirium. Anxiety and confusion filled my mind. It was the Engineering Economics hour and as always, I cared a damn for that poor guy who was screaming at the top of his voice, trying his best to make us understand GDP. I was working on my career prospects - the options avalable, things I’m interested in, things I’m good at, and what not ? I was desperate for something good to happen in my life. To be very frank, I just can’t think of one thing I’ve achieved in life. In my opinion, an achievement is done when one succeeds in something he/she had aspired for. That’s one, but if someone, unlike me, is more interested in pleasing others, then achievement to him is something he has succeeded in, which pleases the rest of the world but not him. On both occasions, accolades pour in but from different quarters.

Now, after reading the first paragraph, you may wonder in what way this is related to the title ‘Destiny’s Child’. I’ll establish the relationship in the paragraphs to come. At the end, I would like you to share your opinion on two things.

1. Have I achieved something ? If so, which of the above two statements define my achievement best ?
2. Am I Destiny’s Child ?

Coming back, it was the 4th hour on Monday when I was wondering whether or not to appear for the recruitment scheduled for the next day. For readers who don’t know my educational qualification, I’m doing final year Mechanical Engineering at SRM University, Chennai. Being a Mechanical Engineer, working in a software company certainly defied logic in my opinion and hence, a few weeks back, I showed no interest in applying for IT biggies like TCS, CTS, i-Flex etc. Also, I was unhappy with the mass recruitment being done year after year and it certainly discredited the very process of recruitment. I felt, being one among a few recruited would better prove my credentials. My disinterest towards IT companies can also be attributed to the fact that I showed the least interest in C language and programming never interested me. All these days, I had been a frog in the well knowing only an M.Tech in Industrial Engineering as a career option. I failed to analyse other options available, my interests and things I was good at. This made me look at the manufacturing sector companies alone for recruitment and even though I detested the work culture there, I forced myself to apply only for those. So superficial and crude was my thinking till the dusk of August 4th 2008. My thought process dawned at dusk and I decided to sit for placements. Majority of my friends opined that I had a very good chance of getting recruited but my basic intention was to get a feel of an HR interview and I wanted it to be a test of my confidence level and communication skills. Later in the evening, I rushed to the nearest browsing center, took print-outs of my RESUME and was all charged up.

After many years, I gave due respect to my timepiece’s alarm bell and got up at sharp 5.30. For the first time in 20 yrs, I dressed up in formals with a maroon striped shirt and a black pant. I looked at the mirror and exclaimed to myself ‘You do look good dude!! : ) ‘. I reached college on time to attend the pre-placement talk of India's sixth largest software exporter Tech Mahindra Pvt. Ltd. As many as 400 + students attended the ppt and I came to know from my placement co-ordinator that they were not going to recruit more than 30 or at the max 50. After looking at the crowd that had gathered I felt it would be really good if I made it to the final interview. The .ppt presentation was impressive and equally impressive was the company's growth over the years. Being a first timer at pre-placement talks, it was a fascinating spectacle to see the gorgeous interiors at their workplaces - totally CHILLAX. After the half-hour presentation, we moved to the computer labs to take the online test. We had to answer 100 questions in one hour with questions of an average dificulty level and I found the ones in the logical reasoning section very interesting. I answered 86 questions successfully and was quite confident of making to the Technical Interview round ( hoping there were no upper cut-offs ) and I did. To my surprise, the interview session started immediately and I was the fourth candidate. The interviewer, a middle-aged person, was impressed with my English fluency and confidence level that I made it to the HR interview directly with no need for a second technical interview. The final announcement of selected candidates came as late as 2000 hrs and I was one among the 29 students recruited.

Accolades poured in from family members, friends and especially from those in my department as I was one among the six Mechanical Engineers recruited. Unlike others who heaved a sigh of relief having seeked a decent job, I was unmoved. Even in the wildest of my dreams, I didn't expect myself to work for an IT company and applying for Tech M was something unexpected 36 hrs back. A few of my friends jumped with joy after the final announcement and even after coming back home; some called me and were full of emotions as it meant so much to them. Am I sounding puffed-up with these recruitments looking an ordinary affair ? No. The truth, I’ve discovered is, all these years I had been a guy with no ambitions, a guy who failed to give a thought about his future, a guy who failed to recognise the skills in him, a guy who blindly followed what people, he respects, had to say, and a guy who was not driven by his thoughts and aspirations. On instances when I complied with what others had to say with no real interest on my part, things ended up on a miserable note - there have been quite a few examples in the past. It took me two hours that night to actually realise that I had done something commendable.

To be very frank, the decision to apply for Tech Mahindra was instinctive and something I feel, was destined to happen. Now I've decided to work at Tech M if I goof-up my CAT and other B school exams this year. Also I've realised the need for flexiblility and hence, I'm game to learning C programming with interest if the situation demands. With a job on hand, I'm able to look at better options ahead and it has certainly exuded the confidence in me to move ahead in life with a positive frame of mind. I'm bubbling with optimism and really looking forward to an exciting life ahead. I’m very firm in doing only things that interest me because I’m sure I’ll give my best and work to my potential to achieve the same. I feel, being more passionate about things one is good at, is a permanent ticket to success. Hence, I've turned a solitary thinker (in the last 1 month ) working on ways to develop my character and shape my attitude in the right direction.

Scroll up. Read the first paragraph again and post your comments if you feel I’ve achieved something and if so, does my achievement support the definitions? All these years, things have just fallen in place and I had been a guy with no real aspirations or dreams. I had been Destiny’s child.

Sleepless at Chennai

The title sounds similar to the Tom Hanks - Meg Ryan romantic flick ? Well maybe...but its just Rajesh here, sleepless at Chennai, with no Meg Ryan.

As I pen down this write-up, the clock shows 12 midnight. Wondering what I'm doing ?? Well..even I'm wondering the same. It's been 72 hrs since I had a sound sleep. I'm unable to sleep. Something disturbs me. If I have to consult a doctor, I'm sure he'll be left clueless. Self-analysis of these mental disturbances answers best on most occasions. Sleeping apnea it is. Sleeping apnea ? Is it a symptom or a disease ? It is both, taking different positions. What I'm suffering from, is the disease 'sleeping apnea ' and the symptom for the resulting mental disturbance is the same sleeping apnea (Got it ?...if not, I'm sorry, I'm not too good at expressing thoughts lucidly) Why is it ? Am I guilty ? Am I worried ? Have I lost something in life ? Am I expecting something to happen desperately ? Have I made wrong moves in life that I'm still unable to come out of it ? One half of my brain seems to accept with the last thought while the other goes with the penultimate one, but, both partial acceptance.This has left me completely confused. Two-three days back, I made up my mind not to blog for a few months. Now, why such a sacrifice when my blog has a good readership and when I seem to be at ease with blogger ? Has something more passionate than blogging invaded my heart ? Will my fulfilment of that take a backseat if I allot more time for blogging ? Well...maybe...I'm not sure. Lots of questions remain unanswered.

Day before yesterday night, I slept alone in my room just to carry about a solitary thought process. Did that work out ? Yes but unsatisfactory. I couldn't sleep and hence switched on my pc, listened to ' Kabhi Kabhi' from Janne Tu atleast 10 times..that song is so delectable...so nearly 40 minutes gone with that song.... Then, I moved on to Ek Pal Ke Liye and Saansein Madham Hai ( Both Shreya tracks)....these two songs tried their best to supplant a lullaby but in vain. The clock ticked 2am and I knew, it was getting too much. I switched off my pc and I still don't know when and how did I sleep ? Suddenly, I saw my mom screaming at 6.30 pushing me to get ready for college. Last night, I shifted room - slept with my parents in their bedroom but still, the same result. It's just like the Indian Cricket team. Even as they switch from one form of the game to another, be it ODI or Test cricket, SL bowler Ajantha Mendis still manages to give them sleepless nights. Coming back, last night was sleepless too - I got up from the bed, went near the window and watched the occasional autos passing by, the tourist cab chauffers parking their cars just outside my house, the horn of the passing cars, reminded me its late night and I better sleep. But nothing succeeded. I couldn't sleep. Thoughts kept entering my mind, one after the other and it looked a reality show where every thought had something to say with one anchor in me.....Why ? Am I not clear about what I want and what I don't want ? Am I succumbing to the galloping pressure to perform ? Well...maybe...I'm not sure. Lots of questions remain unanswered.

I still don't know what to do. I've diversified my options. I'm looking for things that interest me and that will boost my confidence. Now, is there any inferiority complex ? Definitely not. Well...then maybe a thought flashed that put me at the cross roads of life not knowing which path to take ? I certainly do not know. I hope such things don't happen. Is it the incredulity of the mind to comply with changing perceptions ? Am I undergoing a transition phase from a playful teen to a focussed young man ? I've always made sure my latent thoughts are receptive before I act upon. Yet, change in the methodology of my thought process is resisted time and again. Now....why am I writing this here ? Do I expect you to know what's happening with me ? Do I want people to give me suggestions as to how overcome this sudden change in the perception of my life ahead. Will I sleep well if I pen down what I feel ? Well...maybe...I'm not sure. Lots of questions remain unanswered.

Dr. Kalam once said, I qoute

' Dreams are not what you get when you sleep, they are those that don't let you sleep '

So am I really dreaming ? Is that not letting me sleep ? Maybe it's true and if it is, I just hope it doesn't end up a trivial solution to the set of equations I've framed in my mind to solve a problem called ' LIFE '. There's nothing wrong in wanting to realise one's dream as long as it's within the confinements of one's capabilities. Am I raising the bars of my potential ? Definitely not. I know I'm capable enough if I were to realise the same. It's better I walk along with my dream and not chase it. Will I be able to walk along ? Do I know the pace at which I'm moving ? Do I know the pace at which my dream moves ? Will I succeed in my pursuit ? Well...maybe...I'm not sure. Lots of questions remain unanswered.

Is the trust vote trust-worthy? What lies ahead?

The UPA government won the trust vote with a clear margin of 19 votes by unethical means, discrediting the Indian Parliament but it’s certainly bound to lose the trust of the people with Lok Sabha elections just a few months away. Getting jailed MPs vote, horse-trading, cross voting, defections made them cross the magical figure of 271 but the sanctity of Indian democracy touched an all time low. The primary issue - Nuclear deal took a backseat and issues like horse-trading, backstabbing took centre stage and made a mockery of the Indian parliamentary process. One thing the UPA has failed to understand is MPs can be lured but definitely not the people of India. Having lost the support of the Left, the UPA formalized opportunistic alliances with parties that had their eyes only on money and power. These MPs and smaller parties hardly knew about the details of the nuclear deal but were keen on making hay while the sun shone. Mr. Shibu Soren back as cabinet Minister is the height of opportunistic indecent politics and if that happens, Lok Sabha will become a place worse than a brothel. This trust vote session clearly portrayed a group of Indian politicians discussing an Indo-US nuclear deal, failing to even vote correctly using the electronic system. Fifty four MPs voted on slips and it was pathetic to see 4 MPs abstaining. Are we not in the 21st century ? Parliamentarians can throw values to winds just for the sake of monetary gains and if sources are to be believed, Ms. Mayawati priced a SP MP at 28 crore but Mr. Amar Singh, not so lavish, priced a BJP MP at 3 crores. It is a pity that foreign policies and issues like the Indo-US deal were reduced to the level of street politics. Comrades who called themselves natural allies became enemies (Congress-Left) and parties that had such a bitter relationship between themselves became friends overnight (Congress-SP). One should not be surprised if the equations drastically change before the next LS polls because, anything can happen in Indian politics and there are no permanent friends or foes - all opportunists.

The display of wads of currency by BJP MPs, who claimed they were offered money to abstain from voting, was a shame on the entire nation. Backstage dealings to save/bring down the government were always on the cards but none expected currency notes to make its way into the Indian Parliament. Decorum in the Indian Parliament has continually been on the decline and hence we’ll have to wait and watch if this is the worst scenario ever or if anything much worse than the worst of today is to follow. It was indeed disappointing to see Mr. Advani permitting the display of cash forgetting his cliché that BJP is a party with a difference. Another betrayal of one’s own credentials was the precipitous fall of Manmohan Singh’s political credibility. He, as an individual maybe a man of integrity but has tarnished his image as a politician by striking opportunistic alliances and being part of the horse-trading activities. Being an economist himself and with Mr. Chidambaram as the Finance minister, they have collectively failed to tackle the galloping inflation. Most political parties in India have tunnel visions but they just don’t seem to look beyond their self-interest and it’s a pity that the ruling party has failed to feel the pulse of the people. Is this Indo-US deal, the need of the hour that a trust-worthy trust vote had to be carried out to validate the stability of the government ?

Ms. Mayawati and the members of today’s UNPA (I won’t be surprised if it gets defunct tomorrow) claim their party to be the only alternative but one should accept the fact that Mayawati voted against the Indo-US deal not because she had credible arguments against it but she just couldn’t digest the Congress connection with the SP. In my opinion, the UNPA has ‘United’ just for namesake ( an intended pun ). First instance of this was seen when the AIADMK violated the decision to abstain from voting during the Presidential elections. The latest to join the bandwagon is the SP which has joined hands with the UPA (as of now). UNPA is, I opine, a safe place for regional parties to maintain a neutral stand, equidistant from both the BJP and the Congress. They don’t have to run behind national parties for alliance but when the latter knock its door for support, they shall quit the shelter and make full use of their opportunism. It’s well exemplified by the SP’s decision to tie-up with the Congress and a few months from now, one shall expect a similar shake of hands between the AIADMK and BJP. Ironically, a few months back, Ms. JJ and Mr. Amar Singh called themselves to be the best of pals but come next LS elections, one shall see them on opposite camps exchanging verbal duels.

In my observations, the BJP never seemed so much interested in this trust vote and it had to vote against the N-deal just because it took the opposition chairs. Had the UPA been defeated, credit would have gone to Mayawati for stabilizing the opposition by bringing together, the Left, TDP and other smaller parties. In fact, the UPA’s victory in the trust vote is for sure, a blessing in disguise for the NDA’s prospects in the General elections - reasons aplenty. The UPA will be forced to give a Cabinet post to Shibu Soren which will definitely be viewed with a contentious eye and adding to this, it’s not possible to bring down the inflation rate drastically in just a period of five-six months. If the sting operations carried out by TV news channels depict the ugly face of the Congress- SP alliance, it’s something the BJP will warmly welcome and that’ll surely up the people’s ante against the UPA government. The last thing the BJP would want is the shameful act by three of its MPs (displaying wads of currency) to affect their chances in the next polls.

What lies ahead?

Maximum affected by the outcome of this trust vote are the Left parties and I’m sure, the Left high command is still finding out ways to define its presence in the LS. Sitting along with the Congress will make no sense and if they sit with the BJP, won’t it make the communists communal ? The Left is already upset over Lalu’s sarcastic remarks about its voting along with the BJP and hence, they’ll wish for no LS sessions before the next General elections, or at least before they could vindicate their stand. At times, it gets funny when you are forced to think on these lines as a writer. One should also take note of the Left’s inconspicuous indulgence in horse-trading or cross-voting or abstentions though I admit, backstage incidents could have just been the opposite. The Left policies may not be acceptable in today’s world, but I’ve always felt, they are a set of politicians upholding their dignity. Unlike opportunistic parties like the DMK, the Left never demanded for ministerial berths and they maintained the same stand for the last four years. Mr. Somnath Chaterjee admirably conducted the proceedings and he deserves special appreciation for having remained the speaker defying his party whip. Hats off Sir !!. The Left parties made their stand clear on the N-deal right from its inception. Now, with the Left booted out from the UPA, the N-deal is sure to be carried forward with no hindrance. As was evident, the sensex surged in points and one can expect more reforms with private sector interference. Let’s see if Mr. Singh is made to work like a PM in the days to come after his allegation last night that the Left wanted him to be their bonded slave. The BJP, I’m sure will have kept its ears wide open to these comments as they will prove to be an icing on the cake during their campaign against Mr. Singh for the next LS elections. It will be interesting to watch if the UPA is able to make amends for its maladministration in the last four and a half years

Mr.Singh is King today but will he succeed in holding onto the throne 10 months hence ?

Rampant Corruption in India - who is responsible ?

An obnoxious hindrance en route to India’s economic development is Corruption. It’s indeed disappointing to witness this monstrous practice all over the country for which, the country’s retarded progress bears the brunt. Indian Citizens’ incredulous attitudes to culpabilities and annoying recriminations have severely retarded the country’s economic growth over the years. Any strong building must have a well-built foundation and likewise, for every process to prosper, things must be hassle-free at the grass-root level. The latter is what is alarming, and the citizens have, at the grass root level, been very supportive of this devil ‘Corruption’ ever since its unfortunate inception. When I say grass root level, I really mean and it starts right from a child’s admission to nursery school where parents are forced to shell out a lump sum under a venerable term ‘donation’. To see a middle class population donate money to financially rich convent schools should be an indication of a very high standard of living prevailing in the country, but do the Indian middle class really lead a luxurious life? The instigation that sets up at nursery continues and intensifies when the student takes up a professional course at an age, he/she should be exercising franchise to decide the country’s political prospects. Medical and Engineering College admissions have been witnessing corruption of the highest order year after year under the decorous ‘Management Quota’. Citizens’ self-centered attitude in seeking professional seats, failing to show even the least concern for the credibility of the existing system has largely contributed to the non-abolition of corruption. The education institutions, which inculcate moral values, discipline and nurture the talents in budding leaders of tomorrow, have been losing their renowned reputation over the years, thanks to citizens’ incorrigibility.

Another atrocious act of corruption rampant is the unpleasant relationship most citizens, in the form of motorists, share with the traffic policemen. The former seldom comply with the rules and regulations and the latest, overrule of the ‘compulsory wear of helmet’ has made traffic policemen work over-time for their perks. Basic rules like carrying of vehicle papers, driving license, abiding by one-way traffic changes are being violated constantly and the corruption that is seen on arterial roads, leads its way to police stations and suitcases have the final say in higher offices. The situation is much worse in Regional Transport Offices where, over the years, this offense has been ceaselessly encouraged and now, bribery is made a customary practice. What citizens basically lack is moral discipline to conform to guidelines, and instead, they carry out horrendous practices as alternatives, unaware of the deadly repercussions. Corruption reaches its zenith at the time of elections when the electorates, especially in rural areas are wooed by the MLAs and MPs-in-waiting, to vote in their favor. The Election Commissioners, also in a way, citizens, turn mere spectators on most occasions, failing to unshackle this illegitimate transfer of money and their credibility is certainly questionable. After assuming office, the sitting MLAs and MPs turn the tables on citizens and the latter are forced to be at the mercy of the former for the provision of basic amenities. The crux of the above statement is the citizens’ reprehensible exercise of the Universal Adult Franchise, thanks to their indefinite greed for money unaware of the fact that politicians are craving for more monetary gains when power fall into their hands. Now, the gaffe on the part of indulgent citizens is twofold – apart from accepting bribe, they promote the same at the highest level. Five years hence, the politicians’ atrocities move into oblivion in the eyes of the electorate and the process continues to be a vicious circle. Though corruption is perceived by officials in all public and private offices, the root-cause for its conspicuous perpetuity are the country's own citizens.

Categorically, the youth of today, lenient toward corruption, thereby become the Police officers, Councillors, MLAs and MPs of tomorrow. Eradication of this contagious practice is not a facile task but it shall definitely be made feasible if citizens sincerely work towards it. Long terms goals are achieved by setting up of short term ones at different stages and achieving each one of them in a phased manner. Here, I refer to the cleaning up of one department followed by another as the short term goals and as we continue this good work, we shall live in a corruption-free India in the near future. In this era of political ambiguity when citizens’ antagonisms towards politicians’ double standards are most often viewed with contention, it certainly makes no sense to expect politicians to lead by example. The need of the hour is to stop recriminations, accept blame if one is culpable and take the extra mile to clean the system - lead by example, and I’m sure, the rest in higher echelons will follow suite. The next generation of well-disciplined citizens holding moral values is the forlorn hope for a developed India. Indulgence in corruption despite knowing the recklessness is like hitting one’s forehead at cornerstone, sighted miles ahead of approach.

Let’s strive to achieve this daunting task. Jai Hind!!!

P.S: I'm planning to write a story set in a high school milieu for the next month phased into 4 parts or maybe 8 parts...depends... Look right and cast your vote for the same.

Blogging ?? Me ?? How ?? Why ??

Looking at the comments I received for my previous post, my instant feeling was one of delight, and later, as I was walking up the stairs to the terrace ( I turn a solitary thinker at the terrace and this is where the preliminary thoughts for my blog to follow sprout ), I started wondering, ' Blogging ?? Me ?? How ?? Why ?? '. If one's acquaintanceship with me been for many years and had they lost touch in the last few months, I'm sure, they would be baffled to know that I'm a decent writer today - reasons aplenty. Looking back, I see myself a lethargic guy when it comes to English reading or writing. My aversion for the subject and poor marks in exams went hand-in-hand, but I still have no clue as to which followed what. Reading novels or any kind of books ( including comics) for that matter never enthused me. If I still press hard to say that I did cultivate a reading habit, Vijay Lokapally's columns on The Hindu and Sportstar, which kept me glued, rightly justifies. Even today, my eye nerves get restless and I can't read a book for more than half-hour non-stop. It's irresistible, but the same doesn't seem to apply to reading my friends' blogs ( Do my fellow bloggers' write-up interest me better ??? Definitely yes :) ).

Coming back, my parents' sincere advice to inculcate in me, the reading habit, went into deaf ears and to me, reading looked an infection, my mind had quarantined. In one of my previous articles, I had mentioned ' People are more convinced by reasons they discovered themselves than those found by others ' and that very much applied to me and still does. Only after entering The Blogosphere have I realized, how better a writer I could have been today had I read more books in my childhood. Though the urge to improve my English vocabulary was always at the back of my mind, the surge for more reading was missing. I never attempted to read books / newspaper columns and the saddest thing was, I was unaware that I had still been incorrigible, until very recently, when Shreya Ghoshal pushed me in reincarnating http://justrajesh.blogspot.com . On March 22, 2008 when I logged in to www.blogger.com to post the write-up ' Fallen in Love...', Mr. Blogspot failed to identify me and the account had to be re-created . I gave my blog a complete makeover - provided a refreshing title 'As I Introspect' with an optimistic description footing it, thereby replacing the awful 'Blogging - Not Boring'. I emphasize, my posting that article on Shreya, which had a laminar flow of words while penning down, was intuitive and not one to revive my relationship with the blogging world. Even after posting ' Fallen in....', I never looked forward as it was penned down only to express my admiration for that Nightingale, rather, my love for her music forced me to do so.The inception of my blog was done out of my curiosity to know what exactly a blog was ( I preferred writing over reading as the latter had always taken a backseat ) and I seldom expected myself to hone the writing skill in me. Never have I dreamed of being passionate about blogging but it turned a reality in the days that followed.

( I had an aversion for English when I looked as cute as him )

A topic I had posted in Shreya Ghoshal's mammoth 26866 member Orkut community ( as on March 22, 2008 ) informing members about this post had my blog pouring in with her fans. They, apart from deepening their love for her, appreciated my writing skills. This dumbstruck me as I had expected people, only to read about a child prodigy called Shreya Ghoshal and definitely not to appreciate or take notice of my writing skills. I was on cloud nine while cherishing those comments her fans had posted, and pondered ' Why not harness something, people feel, I'm good at ?? Why not post simple articles, improvise by empathizing such situations and narrate in a manner everyone could relate to ??'. I was convinced and exclaimed to myself ' Ya...of course...why not ?? ' and there began the series of blogs I started posting. I made it a point to read daily newspaper editorials and was determined to produce better articles in my blog. Santosh Desai's write-ups in The Times Of India ( His latest, dated 14.07.2008 on the Aarushi murder case, presented a realistic portrayal of the goofy media trying to make a news out of nothing...do read if you had missed it ) inspired me to a very good extent. Later, one fine morning, I happened to read about the Chennai bloggers meet on newspaper and hence registered myself at www.indiblogger.in, got in touch with fellow bloggers ( first being Anila, she had registered the previous day and hers was the first blog I read ) and I'm sure, my flair for writing got better and better as days passed, drawing inspiration from fellow bloggers' exemplary writings.

1545 hrs on a sunny Monday evening at Chennai in October 1998 - A dejected 10 yr old boy was walking his way home from school with a second thought pulling him back, not allowing him to proceed home fearing his mom's rebuke, but, when a third questioned the former's validity, he seemed more convinced and continued with his walk. Later, when a malicious fourth, bullied for being very honest to his parents back home, he shut the doors for further thoughts just before the fifth could coerce and entrench, and thus proceeded home straight. On entering, already shuddering, he was shocked at seeing the hall flooded with guests, subsequently turned quandary, flipped his lid and opened doors for the fifth thought to intimidate him, to not let out his compunction right away. Sixth, seventh, eighth etc....followed and the remorse was kept at bay from expression. As the clock kept ticking, ticking and ticking, the angst disturbed him more and more...an hour passed, the guests had left and it was around 5 in the evening when he made up his mind to face the heat and decided to show his mom those sheets of paper which exemplified only disgust and haphazard writing. All the thoughts that had cobbled together to prevent him from doing so, were shunned, and their efforts eventually, went in vain. Pulse rates soared as he neared his mom and one look at his paper, she scowled at him for having managed just 42 percent in his Quarterly English exams, flung it on his face, lambasted him verbally and never spoke to him for the next 2 hrs. That 10 yr old boy, who was struck with terror, who looked horrified en route to his house, whose mind was permeated with a vicious circle of thoughts and whose heart was pervaded with guilt, was none other, but the 20 yr old Rajesh of today, posting this article on yet another sunny Monday evening in Chennai.

...........

[ A new addition - The Mozart of Madras makes my blog space more gorgeous with his melodies. ( just look to your right and scroll down). Soothe your ear drums and start reading the post ]

You must be wondering how dumb I’ve been in posting this article without a title. Well, it was intentional and I would like you to suggest one after reading. A few sentences have been written in Tamil just to maintain the originality of the conversations.

Before posting this article, I read at least 10 times and got emotional every time I read

And I feel this is the best article in my blog as on date.

Here we go...…

Below is my conversation with Nandhini ( I call her Nandhu, affectionately )

Rajesh: Hi...

Nandhu: Hi…

Rajesh: Well. So what did you do today?

Nandhu: Nothing great. So what about you?

Rajesh: Just killing time here…what did you have for lunch today?

Nandhu: Chappathi with Bindi Masala

Rajesh: How’s Ishika?

Nandhu: Yeah…fine. Just back home from her place

…………………………………………………

……………………………blah…..blah….……

……………………………blah…..blah……....

…………………………………………….......

As I finish the conversation, a sense of fulfillment pervades my heart and the chat with her makes me FEEL GOOD.

How would you describe this relationship?

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Well, this is the conversation I had with my cousin last evening. She’s a 7- year old girl with:

~ Charming looks

~ Incisive thoughts

~ Glitzy artistic skills

~ Oodles of confidence

And above all, she’s a girl who gets along with people very easily in a quick span of time.

( Click to enlarge )

To be precise, I’ve five younger cousins but none of them have impressed me as much as this tot. It’s not uncommon to shower so much love on a kid but what I’ve for her is not just affection, but adulation. Each and every aspect of her character is admirable ; the way she carries herself, her gimmicks, her bravado at banters, the timely one-liners she renders and the involvement / dedication with which she goes about her work….and the list is endless. To describe a little more, she looks adorable when she protrudes her lower jaw and winks just one eye of her. It is a real treat when you watch her do that.

My recent visit to her place in Bangalore provided a fantastic opportunity to observe those minuscule yet cute actions of hers. Watching her talk is so enchanting - the pause she takes after every sentence ( her eyeballs alone move up with the brows staying still ) gives her that extra time to frame the next sentence. Most often, people don’t tend to appreciate small things and what they lose is ’ an indeterminate sense of joy that erases all the worries troubling their mind and dispels unwanted feelings stemming from their heart ( at least for a while ) ’. Being someone who finds pleasure in even the smallest things around, I enjoyed every second I spent with her. Her cheerful attitude gave me immense delight and she painted the walls of my heart with warmth and exuberance. Let me describe just one afternoon we spent when her mom had dozed off while her dad stayed glued to his laptop. I feel this should suffice for you to yearn for a cousin like Nandhu.

This was the afternoon I arrived from Chennai and naturally the intimacy was quite understandable. The moment I hit the bed, she cuddled me, pushed me flat and sat on my tummy. They say, ‘ You can’t serve two masters at a time ’, but Nandhu is too good at discussing at least four or five topics at a time. She begins every conversation with ‘ Unakku Onnu theriyumaaa ???' ( you know something ?? ). The moment I try to get deeper into the first topic, she loses patience to answer and moves to the next with so much desperation, that, if I try still harder to get back to the former, she shoots back “ Iru Rajesh…naa solli mudichurren” ( wait Rajesh… let me finish ). It gets even better if I pretend to be mystified by trivial issues. When I remark “ Apdiyaaa, Nandhu ???'' ( Is it, Nandhu ???) , she vividly replies “ Aamaa Rajesh, theriyaadhaa ?? '' ( Ya Rajesh, don’t you know ??). It’s real fun to watch her respond that way. Then, she started rambling on her entire list of friends – the ones who were closer in LKG but not quite so in UKG and vice versa, people who are friendlier now compared to last year in UKG…and the permutations and combinations went on and on. She doesn’t get tired of reciting English words with their spellings. Ironically, it is I who get tired of asking while she stays quite zealous and wants me to shoot more words at her. There’s so much entertainment with her but they’re better enjoyed tête-à-tête rather than narrating here and I strongly feel, these jolly moments can’t be explained in words beyond a point ( I’m unsure if I was successful enough in making you get a real feel of how enjoyable that afternoon was ).

( Click to enlarge )

Another aspect that I have a high regard for, is her eagerness to learn new things - especially English words. She makes a sincere effort to build letters, with her pronunciation close to perfection, and one such instance was during our holiday at Mysore. We had stayed in a hotel, and there, I was amazed to see her read, quite effortlessly, a full page listing the rules and regulations to be followed in that hotel. I can’t recollect one word she pronounced incorrectly. The fluency in language apart, one has to appreciate her keenness to read a flurry of words which is otherwise a tough task for any child of her age. Hats off !!!! Also worth mentioning is her recollection of characters in the mega serials being telecast and she gives her mom the much-needed company. One look at an artist and she’s capable of mentioning the serials he/she has acted, is acting including the character names he/she portrays and the same applies to cine actors as well. Her impeccable drawing skills deserve special mention here and she has adorned the walls of her room with paintings all over. Just have a look at her works.

( Click to enlarge )

Her proficiency in the recent Hindi film songs is incredible and the fact is, I’ve got to know some of the best songs from her humming. She starts predicting a song by just listening to its opening BGMs. Undoubtedly, the one song which reminds me of Nandhu every time I listen is ‘ Teri Yaadon Mein’ ( The Killer ) and precisely the lines ‘Phirtaa rahoon dar badar milta nahin tera nishaan’ . Still etched in my memory is that cloudy evening at Mysore when she sang a few lines of that song and every time I started with ‘ Phirtaa rahoon ’, she was quick to follow it up with ‘ dar badar milta nahin tera nishaan ’. I guess we made a better pair than KK & Shreya Ghoshal. Her Hindi diction is quite good and I’m in awe of the efforts she puts in to initiate a conversation in Hindi. Astoundingly, she corrects herself immediately, if there happens to be a wrong usage and makes sure it doesn’t repeat the next time.

Two things which really moved me were, when :

~ She wanted me to sleep next to her on the penultimate day of stay there ( so touching , isn’t it? )

~ She missed me so much that she actually started weeping soon after I left for Chennai ( I came to know of this from my aunt and what exactly Nandhu had told her mom was, I quote “ Mom, Rajesh was here last week and we had a very nice time with him, we went to Mysore also and now, why did he go back to Chennai ??? ” ). What more can I ask for ??? …

Thanks sweety !!!

Just scroll up and start counting the adjectives that have been used to describe her …..well….far too many. To put things in a nutshell, if it is Shreya Ghoshal’s voice that woos me, it is Nandhu’s attitude that mesmerizes me.

I’m sure Nandhu will have put every effort to read this blog of mine. Let me take this opportunity to pass on my best wishes.

@ Nandhu

May God bless you with the best things in life !! I’m sure you’ll taste success in everything. Keep Rocking dear !!!

Let me sign off with these lines of our favorite song ‘ Teri Yaadon Mein ’.

‘ Phirtaa rahoon dar badar milta nahin tera nishaan ’.

P.S : Kindly don’t forget to suggest a title in the comments page.

An Unexpected Friendship

"Guys, let's start...C'mon, squeeze your brain cells, we are supposed to submit the model tomorrow evening", I exclaimed as I heard a knock at the door. " You're just five here right ?, one more guy can accompany you and that'll make it six " said the volunteer of Kriya 08. ( Kriya ?? Yeah..we were at PSG Tech Coimbatore to attend their National Tech Fest ' Kriya ' in February 08 ). " Fuck !!! Why do these people push in unknown commodities into our room and invade our privacy ?? ", I murmured with disgust. Though I knew it's not right to exercise my control over the room allocations, I was frustrated with the addition of one more guy.

" Hello Guys, I'm Chandrasekhar doing Mechanical Engineering at SASTRA, Tanjore ", the unknown commodity started. One look at his face, he looked a thayir saadham ( meaning curd rice...the term is generally referred to people who look antiquated with a tinge of innocence written all over their face. I'm always very frank in my views when it comes to blogging and so...sorry Chandru if it was offending you ) and I introduced myself " I'm Rajesh doing Mechanical Engineering at SRM ". " Oh!! SRM ah? ", he was quick to reply. The conversation proceeded and as it went on and on, we completely forgot about the windmill model we were supposed to do and I was so much involved in my conversation unlike my friends who were just listening to ours as though a tete-a-tete was going on between us. He started talking about his college, blah blah, life at his home town Trichy , the reason as to why the train arrived late that evening, and after some time, as he continued, the intensity of my conversation changed drastically from
' not-so-bothered ' to ' very-much- bothered '.

The first one which made me raise my brows was his mammoth GRE score and he followed it up explaining about his internships at Saint-Gobain and IIT Bombay. This was where my friends got into the conversation and it was as though we were having a free career counseling session. What I admired in him was his confidence, mature talk and eye contact when he started to interact with us. It's always tough for anyone to adjust and share a room with five unknown faces at least in those initial moments. I was totally stumped and was in awe of his attitude. He seemed ready for his MS explaining his future plans and was conversing at ease and never really felt like a stranger stranded in a room. His confidence and mature talk, this is something I should learn from him. He offered us a few slices of bread not knowing the fact that we had just finished a sumptuous dinner and after compulsion, we heed to his offer. Finally it was time to sleep and we dozed off.

Next morning as I was rubbing my eyes still wondering if that was the right time to get up, he was ready in formals, working on his laptop and looked all charged to present his project at the fest. We went together to have our breakfast just in time before they could pull down the shutters of the mess hall. Post-breakfast, we parted ways and we got busy with the project and he went straight to his workplace. Although we had planned for a movie that evening, things just did n't seem to materialize as we were held up with our project and things finished late that evening. We had dinner together after some serious search for a decent vegetarian restaurant nearby. After dinner, we exchanged views about each others college professors, current affairs, our notorious acts in college and it was laughter that filled the air around as we strolled our way back to the hostel. Though we started playing rummy, the diplomat he is, did n't join us and slept very early.

Next day evening, it was time to say goodbye - he was ready to leave for Trichy and we were all set to get back to Chennai after winning the third place in the windmill design competition. I was stranded in the college campus meeting my school friends and couldn't catch up with him at the hostel. He called on my mobile, asked me to come out.... waved his hand from the other end and then crossed the road. We exchanged pleasantries " Bye da...take care...all the best for your MS...keep in touch ", I said. With so much affection, he wished me best of luck for my future and one comment of his made me very emotional. He cuddled me saying " I really made a very good friend in you and I'll surely miss you da...do stay in touch " . I've always considered
' the hug ' to be the best form of expressing one's affection and hence it was very touching. He was very kind enough to text me the next morning ' reached home safely da...bye....take care.. keep in touch '.
' Wow!!! a person with such a golden heart ' I wondered after reading that sms..

Looking forward to more of such unexpected nights but it's tough to meet someone like him....really learned a lot from you da...keep impressing people with your confidence and mesmerizing attitude.

P.S : This is a small tribute to my friend Chandrashekar who's leaving for US next month to pursue his MS.. All the very best.. Bon Voyage... Dude !!!, don't forget to call me before you depart.. : )