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Saturday, December 13, 2008

Building Perspectives

A few days back, I was conversing with one of my childhood friends and we were discussing about changes in people and the way life has changed for each one of us. We’ve known each other for a long time (14 years to be precise) and hence I asked her, ‘Having known me for a long time now, how do you see me today and what do you have to say about my character?’ She played safe, in my opinion and what she actually said was ‘career-conscious, a music addict and pretty straight-forward’ and summed it up ‘you trust your friends a lot’. That was quite unexpected because I was expecting a more informal and an in-depth analysis. When I questioned her formality for being safe (if I could say, circumspect) in her comments, she said ‘I generally don’t see the negative side of people and I take the positives alone' That was fair enough and I certainly cannot question her approach towards people. 

To me, building perspectives is very important and I observe people very keenly and there's a section of my friends who used to appreciate my mimicry while in school. I try to study the other man’s mind in the midst of a conversation and in general, their body language. There is a saying ‘People share one thing in common : They’re all different’. Being a staunch believer in this, I admire God for His wonderful incarnations. Each one is different in one way or the other and it's pleasurable to study people and analyze their different approaches towards life. I’ve always tried to imbibe in me, qualities that I’ve found impressive in others. I get inspired but I’m not influenced. There’s quite a difference between the former and the latter. Coming back, after hanging up the phone that night, I pondered over this idea of ‘Building Perspectives’. My flair for observations and thereby building perspectives has been on for quite some time and the discussion with others doesn’t stop with my friends alone but extends still further. A protracted conversation with my uncle about our family members made up for a wonderful and an interesting discussion, a few days back. We opened up on our opinions about each one in the family and I was happy for the fact that, most of my observations were almost spot-on and my uncle held similar views. Even the most trivial of actions/attitudes failed to go unnoticed in our eyes and we (myself and my uncle) had studied almost everything. And as we were discussing about people, he cautioned me not to bring these perspectives in the way of relationships, in the sense, he didn’t want me to get obtrusive. I promised him that I had always built perspectives only to smooth relationships and definitely not to harm. 

A watchful build helps to study people at length and also lets one to analyze people’s responses/reactions to different situations. I’ve always tried my best in getting the better out of people which I feel, is done by analyzing both their strengths and weaknesses. It helps in many ways and when you study both, you shall keep away circumstances which make that person uncomfortable and make the air pleasant by bringing in conversations to make him/her more comfortable. And as my uncle rightly pointed out, unsubstantiated opinions might turn into prejudice and make one over-react to situations when not called for. This, in turn, bitters the relationship.

Last evening, I was watching a program on CNN IBN wherein Sri Sri Ravi Shankar was responding to people’s queries on methods to tackle mental stress. He was sharing the screen with Anubha Bhonsle and giving answers that looked 'easier-said-than-done'. Tackling mental stress is one of the toughest things in life for a common man and for every question thrown; he answered with a wide smile on his face and responded in a manner that looked just an ordinary thing. In actual practice, it’s not that easy as he mentions and similarly, building the right perspective is quite tough and one gets better only with experience. 

Good Judgement comes with Experience &
Experience comes with Poor Judgement

Though we might not build just the right one, life’s all about ‘Building Perspectives’.

P.S: I would like to receive your votes in the poll (look right top corner)


45 comments:

Still thinking said...

Hmmm, quite a heavy post. Oh how I agree with you about all of us being common by being different. That is indeed true and you said it so well.

You thinking of changing careers? :D

Perspective. Just an important word in my line of work.

There's one thing I do not agree with you though, experience need not come with poor judgement. Infact experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. Not me, it's Randy Pausch's words.

ashes2087 said...

ur writing style has transformed remarably! keep it up buddy! :)

Rajesh said...

@Still Thinking
Well...not changing careers though!!! lol...i felt..like u gain experience when u make bad judgement of situations and end up getting something u dint want...is that another way of looking at it???

@Ashes2087
Oh!!! Thanks....all ur Blessings Thala!!!

everything burns... said...

"I promised him that I had always built perspectives only to smooth relationships and definitely not to harm." how can one not notice somen bad about a person if they observe too hard???

Rajesh said...

@Everything
I don get u, sorry

Gauri Mathur said...

Hey Rajesh!
Its good everbody should have a clear perspectives ,,and i am happy u have that,infact u r a keen observer also,but try and keep in mind that u dont get obssesd to this keen observation and start judging people.
Judgement sometimes makes paths tuffer in most of the aspect in life.
:)
take care
keep Empowering:)
:)

Rajesh said...

@Gauri
I think u dint read the part where I've mentioned abt my Uncle's caution :) :)

ashes2087 said...

placed in saipem da. parent's are here for holiday. heading back to college tomorrow for project work. will be back in a week or two.

sorry, haven't been in touch... meet up sometime end of this month?

Rajesh said...

@Ashes
Oh!!! Congrats da....treat eppo???? Sure...we'll meet up...cal me once u r back here....hope u have my mob no..

Gauri Mathur said...

ya i read whole post and i read that part also:).
It was just an opinion by my side also:D
Generally people who are soo keen observer devlop this unknowingly,i have noticed this.
Its very good u away from all this:)
take care

Rajesh said...

@Gauri
Yeah...u r right....think I took note of this in my blog itself....anyways I've tried my best not to judge ppl n even if I do so, try my best not to let ppl know fully abt them...yeah...u r right...hope i don take the wrong path unknowingly

mona said...

great post rajesh... written with a lot of thought... its true... each one of us thinks differently.. its important to share the similarities and respect the differences... and for that observation and analysis is a must...

as u say.. its all about building perspectives..!!... keep writing.. cheers!!

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

i would say it is very fragile issue. True, one should have his judgment but be very careful in not to get too carried away with it. You could have a very wrong perception to you know... sometimes people really are not the way they appear to be.

Tara said...

A very thoughtful post. Yes, forming perspectives is very important. Yes, there is a lot of difference between being influenced and being inspired. Being inspired is just personalizing the influence and custom make it for yourself.

I try to look through people too, and absorb that knowledge that I can learn from them, the good of course. I like some people's reaction to certain not-ideal situations and learn from that. Very good post, made me think. :)

PS. And yes am a Tamilian! :)

Arunima said...

A self exploratory post!
Yes some of the things u have put here is quite relevant in out daily lives.
And I liked ur Uncle's suggestion

>>>>not to bring these perspectives in
the way of relationships

Coz it happens vid me too. My perceptions towards ppl do effect my behavior towards them vich sumtimes harm the relationship.

Rajesh said...

@Mona
'share the similarities and respect the differences'....I like that...nice words...yeah its nice always nice to build opinions and nice to look at things in a different way..

Rajesh said...

@Raaji..
yeah...ppl r not exactly the way they seem...yeah that quite contradicts the very idea of building perspectives....but I feel, with experience we get better

Rajesh said...

@Tara
I'm happy u thot about 'GETTING INSPIRED' and 'GETTING INFLUENCED'.. i somehow liked to stress that point with an extra sentence...glad u took notice of that....and yeah...good that u too build perspectives n learn from others...

Rajesh said...

@Arunima
yeah...what he said was indeed very true and it is important one doesn't get carried away with one's PERSPECTIVES

Divya said...

good post.. as usual you've put in a lot of thought.. completely agree with the fact that we shouldn't let perspectives harm relationships.. but then again, it's a difficult thing too..

nivedithasperceptions said...

Good Judgement comes with Experience &

Experience comes with Poor Judgement

I love that saying! And I completely agree. PErspective is very important! And I write a blog named perceptions! So I guess nobody could agree with you more! :P

Rajesh said...

@Divya
Yeah it's difficult and as I said at the end, its tough to build just the right one but life gets better with building perspectives n improving upon them..

Rajesh said...

@Niveditha
U know what??? When I titled it, I was first reminded of u to be honest...

U liked that?? Oh thanks...I too like that a lot.... :)

yeah...noonee shall agree more than U :) :)

everything burns... said...

that was one of the lines in ur post... i meant th if u notice too hard...then u're bound to notice the flaws...

Fantasies of a Lifetime said...

Nice post , and loved the ending lines

Though we might not build just the right one, life’s all about ‘Building Perspectives’

It is thought provoking . . well written

Rajesh said...

@Jahnabi
Yeah...got it...

@Fantasies
Oh!!! Thank U :)

Leo said...

nice thoughts...and yeah the ending was just right!! :)

good judgement comes with experience and experience with poor judgement!!

aptly put! :)

my first visit here,coming from nivedita's blog...and i sure will be back for more!! :)

Rajesh said...

@Leo
Thanks buddy...glad u liked it...

U r welcome...keep coming..

Nivedita said...

thanks for ur words on my blog :)
this is extremely inspiring considering how assuming, sceptic and paranoid im and i always get everyone wrong lol

Rajesh said...

@Niveditha
Yeah...it does happen but I guess reading this may jus bring abt a small change :) :) I wish so :)

Prashant Sree said...

Must appreciate your knack for observing personalities.,. Very few are gifted with it and it will serve you good in future.,.

One important lesson i have learnt is not to form judgements about people, as it might make me prejudiced !! Iam far from perfecting the art, yet i consciously say to myself that i need to be neutral !!

You seem to be a intuitive person.,. ;)(Assuming you know the other kind as said by Carl Jung)

Rajesh said...

@Prashant Sree
Yeah...as u said, its abt making sure, ur judgments are not prejudiced...its good 3 b neutral in public but i feel, u shall build opinions 4 ur own self..

And well...what did Carl Jung say??? I dunno dude...Please tell me :)

Anurag said...

woah ...that was such a philosophical post mann...

Well yeah we all have an opinion of the other person ...but you know there is a danger of being wrong in what we think about them or vice versa ...so one must also be careful while "building Perspectives" :)

mou said...

yup...it's important to build perspectives...ultimately what you think of the world around you is what defines you...not the other way round...

a very well-written post...

and thanks for your comment in mine :)

ANWESA said...

i think that one needs to be open-minded(no prejudice) 2 build perspectives towards life.this reminds me of an essay competition i participated in class 7.the topic was:"success depends on opportunity,not on character".i disagree with the notion,even now,
n i wrote wat i felt abt it.almost all participants wrote in favour of the topic.coz a teacher thot so.
thats where i learnt to hold to my convictions.

Rajesh said...

@ Anurag
Oh!!! Philosophical is it????

Thats true..building perspectives is important and as u said, one must be careful...

Rajesh said...

@Mou
That was just superb...what you think of the world around you is what defines you...thats was really well-said...

Thanks 4 dropping by :)

@Anwesa
Even I wud have written the essay, the same way and I just wonder how every schoolmate of urs, took up that topic...I find it strange...anyway i appreciate ur level thot even wen u were that young...too good...and as u said, we have to be BROAD and OPEN-MINDED....

nikkita said...

hello..
a very thoughtfull post..keep observation n deep analysing power..ur gifted with both...congratulations..

‘People share one thing in common : They’re all different’.

I get inspired but I’m not influenced.

Good Judgement comes with Experience &
Experience comes with Poor Judgement

great job dude..good stuff...!
come chk my blog..its been missing u a lot lately..:P
cheerz!

Rajesh said...

@Nikitha
Oh!! Thanks...On my way there... :)

Preetilata【ツ】 said...

well said.

wowww.. a very good read. indeed building perspective is quite interesting but we hv to be very careful in doing so

Ramya said...

Building perspectives is definitely important, but sometimes being impulsive helps too. . otherwise life tends to get too mechanical in terms of judging people.

And yes, I've been here for a long time. . almost 4 years ! ! :P

Rajesh said...

@Preetilata
Thanks 4 dropping by...

@Ramya
4 yrs in the sense???? In blogging world???? :) :)

Shruthilaya Jaipal Reddy said...

Neat article. Very well articulated and matter of factly. The icing opn the cake was the line
"Good Judgement comes with Experience &
Experience comes with Poor Judgement".
But i completely believe introspecting and finding urself is the MOST difficult task in the whole wide world...
Rite?

Rajesh said...

@Shruthilaya
For me, Introspecting is fun coz I delve into my own thoughts, think still deep and try to make the life ahead, better...

Finding urself....well...I dunno how much philosophical u have got here but if u have...i must say...thats the toughest thing for any human and beyond an age, ppl start doing that and its tough t achieve wat u expect of urself

Express said...

Now that is one very well written post rajesh!
compliments!

point of view matters and so does the way we react to certain things.

and the points that u highlighted were bang on!
I ve just one critical comment 2 make, now thats my perspective :D

the name of the post is such a turn off...
think abt it
:-)