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Saturday, January 24, 2009

Embarrassing Moments - Part 2

As I just finish mentioning about the IT paper incident, I’m reminded of the 2 terrific days (in the negative sense) of my life. 

It was an October evening when I had just reached home from school. I screamed ‘Maa I’m hungry…what’s there for snacks? Else just get me a cup of Boost’ and the reply was, in a stern voice, ‘You may wait for sometime and for what you have been doing at school, you can’t expect a royal treatment’. That tone was unique in its own way – something I hadn’t heard in the past. ‘What wrong did I do?’ I asked to myself but before I could answer that, I posed to myself an honest question ‘What wrong did I not do?’. As I was coming to terms with the situation, mom came near and said ‘I want to talk to you tonight after Appa comes back from office’. I knew, something I had wished not to happen, has actually happened.

I carried with me, the cup of Boost - walked from the window to the door, from the door to the cupboard, from one cupboard to another, leaned on it, back to the door and then back to the window. The scene looked a vicious circle of despair. The drink 'Boost' may have been the secret of Sachin Tendulkar’s energy but in that state of mental agony, it certainly failed to provide me with the same. I was confused and just couldn’t figure out the exact nature of the situation. I didn’t want to make things worse and hence made sure, the TV was not switched on. I remember, the second academic term had just begun then and despite having no homework that day, I played safe by having books around me and kept staring at the faces of Indian freedom fighters on the pages of my history text. Time passed, dad arrived and when the clock was about to strike seven, mom and dad entered my room and shut the door. Though I didn’t make it explicit, I trembled with fear, inside.

Mom began ‘You know something? I got a call from your school Principal this evening?’. ‘What?’, I gasped. Yeah! Mom had received a call and my parents were instructed to meet the Principal, that following Saturday. I was shell-shocked to hear and mom questioned me, what wrong I had done over the past few weeks. Though I knew, I had done many, I felt they were never that foolishly done to reach the Principal’s ears. One tête-à-tête between us happened when I had hit the cricket ball into her cabin while practicing for the school team on campus and I thought it to be the reason behind the SPECIAL INVITE for my parents. Incidentally, I had a camp to attend that saturday and hence couldn’t accompany my parents to school. I couldn’t enjoy at the camp too and all my thinking was about the meet. I was trembling with fear all through the morning and I’m sure, any BP instrument would have showed a minimum 140/95. 

I came home in the evening, and that the meet was to inform my parents about my busyness in the exam hall confused me. Understandably, any student would be busy with his/her answer paper but the uniqueness lied in the fact that I had been too busy with my friends’ papers. When my mom first said this, I was confused. The reason being, though I had involved myself in malpractice almost in all exams that year, never was I caught red-handed. The explanations followed. A junior of mine had been watching my activities in the exam hall and had complained about this to the Principal. It was a rude shock and I couldn’t digest such a thing – the intrusion of a girl in my affairs. I felt the need to take that girl to task till I knew that she happened to be my cousin’s close friend. I had no other option but to stare at her, every time we met on campus and she used to hide from me everytime.

The second of incidents in this post and the last of the series is the dreadful fight among 3 of my friends and me. It all started with a late night online chat between me and my friend. The discussion about another friend, the biggest of communication gaps ever to exist, subsisted and ignited the spark to the verbal duels. The horrible thing was, two of the three happened to be my childhood friends. The sms and the conversations I made, the following afternoon still haunts me whenever I have the smallest of its remembrances. The meet with the first friend at his place and the verbal duel he had with the second, over the phone that noon are the worst you could expect of 20 year olds. Today, on retrospect, I feel very bad and its shame on my part to have been one of the two people to have started that infamous incident. Time is the healer and I’m sure, things shall get better and better. 

I feel good after having penned down what I had in me and my heart now weighs lighter. I’m not ashamed to write about what I was, and what I am today but I want to make sure, I write something much better, in future. I believe, the best of today shall make itself a wonderful past for tomorrow.

19 comments:

Usha Pisharody said...

Writing about it always has a cathartic influence. Get it out of the system, give it its due in thought, introspection and acceptance, and then move on... :)

Best wishes for a today and a tomorrow that brings better moments :) :)

ANWESA said...

the 1st incident sounded funny at tyms.i kno wat it means wen d principal summons one's parents.
d 2nd incident was a serious pill i guess.watevr it is,it takes a lot of guts 2 admit one's mistakes n ur 1 of dem.wishin u luk in lyf.

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

ahh... well things happen... you just have to make sure... or *try* to make sure they dont happen again :-)

Priya pillai said...

so much suffering...one human..

*cries*

Tara said...

Kudos again! Indeed, it does help to just confess some things and get it out of our system...very beautiful, yet again. And today, I must say I feel proud to have such a beautiful human being as my friend. Very proud, in fact. Wish you a great life ahead. :)

Mithe said...

You are honest Rajesh! Congrats for actually recognising the wrongs and trying to correct them!

Rajesh said...

@Usha
Nice 2 c u comment first...thanks a lot.. :)

@Anwesa
Oh!!! First was funny is it? Well...that was a nightmare :D

Rajesh said...

@Raaji
People mature with age and so, such things will seldom happen again.


@Priya
Not much of a suffering!!! Please read posts n then comment

Rajesh said...

@Tara
Wow!! That was 'A COMMENT'. Short n it was lovely 2 read ur words. Yeah it does help 2 an extent wen u pen down things. Yeah...glad that u r proud of me.. What makes u feel or say so? I don see anything gr8 some1 2 feel proud. :)

Rajesh said...

@Mithe
Oh!!! Thanks..I've always been honest with my blogs. :)

Ani said...

it takes immense courage to write about things that embarrasiing.. n yes i do agree.. writing things down does make us move on.. because we know.. how things are or were.. n yes rightly said.. we are confessing when we are writing.. :) lovely read as always.. :)

Tara said...

It takes a lot to come to terms with one's wrongdoings, and to accept it in front of such a large audience, is in itself a great quality Rajesh. Not many people can boast of such a thing! To you, it may seem very natural, but to me, it looks beautiful. :)

Rajesh said...

@Ani
Yeah...more than the courage, it's the honesty with my blogs. Yeah...confession while we write.. Thanks for reading...

Rajesh said...

@Tara
Oh!!! I see. Yeah it does take time 2 come to terms. Thanks a lot 4 ur kind and encouraging words.

Preetilata【ツ】 said...

i have always told u rajesh that i simply love ur honesty and d flow of writing.

recognizing and then accepting and then correcting our faults need immense amount of courage.

congrats and kudos--- u deserve both. :)

Fantasies of a Lifetime said...

lol , at the first incident :D . .

As you said, time would heal all differences . . .And writing sure does get it all out of your system :). . .

Rajesh said...

@Preeti
Oh!! Thanks...nice 2 get such comments time n again.

Hoping to continue with the honesty. Keep coming..

Rajesh said...

@Fantasies
Yup...true...very true...it does

Prashant Sree said...

Nice one da.

Some grow wise with their age, some be as they are as they age. Iam glad that you are choosing the right thing for yourself ;)

Keep Empowering.